Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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