Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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