Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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