Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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