i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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