i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
