Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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