he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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