Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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