Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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