i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
