OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
