No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
