There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
