so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
