flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
