Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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