If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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