Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
