Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
