I faked an abortion last night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
