I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
