I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
