plz talk dirty to me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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