Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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