I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
