I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
