I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
