my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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