I have demons in me.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
