The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
