Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
