I'm jealous of your bromance
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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