I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
