It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
