Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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