I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
