Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Rumble strips road head = magical
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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