I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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