i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
