this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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