is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
