don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
