i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did i walk over a car last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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