why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
