You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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