sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
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when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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