He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
