Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize