He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
