I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize