Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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