I just made out with a guy for $7.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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