Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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