I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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