you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize