so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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