You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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