So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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