she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
