when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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