I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
