Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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